Last Updated on March 21, 2025
This is the third article in the “Confessions of a Financial Planner” series to discuss something I’m not proud of: waiting two years to update my estate plan after getting married.
If you missed the first two articles, you can read them here:
- Confessions of a Financial Planner: I’ve Held “Too Much” Cash
- Confessions of a Financial Planner: I Felt Guilty About An Inheritance
Out of all of the confessions so far, this is the one I’m most embarrassed to admit. It’s rare for a week to go by where I’m not discussing the importance of estate planning and why it’s important to understand and update an estate plan.
Your estate plan can include the following documents:
- Will and/or Trust
- DPOA for Finances
- DPOA for Healthcare
- Advanced Directives
They are the documents that dictate what happens to you if you are unable to make decisions for yourself and what happens to your assets if you die.
Let’s explore why it took me two years to update my estate plan, why I almost waited even longer, and how I felt after completing them.
The Confession of a Financial Planner: I Took Two Years to Update My Estate Plan After Getting Married
I initially created an estate plan during the pandemic. There was an uptick in people who created Wills and other estate planning documents during the pandemic, and I was one of them.
The primary reason I created one at the time was because my wife and I were living together in a house I purchased individually, and I wanted her to receive the house if I passed away.
Prior to that, I didn’t have an estate plan, which perhaps that should be the real confession because I had been working in the financial planning industry since college.
A couple of years passed since that first estate plan and life happened — we got engaged, moved across the country, and then married.
Despite moving from Washington to Wisconsin, I didn’t update my estate plan, even though I should have. When you move states, it’s a good time to review your estate plan and see if it needs updating (often it does!) because state laws vary.
After we got married, I still didn’t update the estate plan for another two years.
Reasons/Excuses of Why I Waited to Update My Estate Plan
Let me be clear — none of the excuses below are good excuses. They show life happens, I’m a human being, and I don’t always follow best practices.
Limited Time in Wisconsin
When we moved to Wisconsin, the idea was to only be there for three years during my wife’s residency and then move back to Washington. I didn’t want to spend the time and money updating a plan that would only be good for a few years, particularly when I knew we would need to update it after my wife’s residency was complete.
It’s not a good excuse, but it is an excuse.
I am young-ish and healthy and know the odds of dying are low. I looked up the odds for this article, and it turns out there was a 0.2574% probability of me dying within one year based on the Social Security period life table. We were planning to be in Wisconsin for three years, so the odds were still very low.
Again, this is not a good excuse. You create estate planning documents for those worst case scenarios. I don’t expect to die while I am paying for my term life insurance, and yet, I own it because I want my wife to not have to worry about money if I die early.
I’m providing these excuses to show that as a financial planner, I am human. If I had my own financial planner, they would have been encouraging me to create estate planning documents as soon as I moved and if not then, certainly when I got married.
Most of My Estate Value Was in The House, Retirement Accounts, and Life Insurance
Another excuse is that I wasn’t worried about my wife receiving enough money. If I died, most of my estate value would have been in the term life insurance, retirement accounts, and the house. Since she was my primary beneficiary on my life insurance and retirement accounts, and the original trust specified that she would receive the house if we were together, she would have received the bulk of my assets anyway.
There were a few accounts and other assets that would have passed to others or been messy to clean up, which is not ideal, but my primary concern of my wife having enough was fine under the current plan.
This wasn’t an ideal setup, but I gambled on it given the low probability of dying. I am glad nothing happened at that time, but it was foolish.
Estate Plans are Expensive to Update
My last excuse is a common one: cost.
Estate plans are expensive to update, I had just quit my job, and was literally paying to work as I launched my business. Did I really want to spend a few thousand dollars to update an estate plan when I wasn’t sure if the business would succeed, when I would make money again, and we would have to redo this in under three years?
Absolutely not!
Do I know that cleaning up estate plans are far more expensive than doing it right the first time? You bet I do!
I’ve seen first hand how having a messy estate plan that is unclear, isn’t updated after a major life event, such as getting married, or a bad DIY job using online templates can mean tens of thousands of dollars or more being paid to an attorney to fix it.
I did it anyway. It was foolish.
Do I Regret Waiting to Update My Estate Plan?
As you can probably tell, I regret waiting to update my estate plan.
My wife and I saw an attorney in 2024 to update my estate plan and create one for her for the first time. The irony is that this estate plan will also likely be short lived. We made it past the original three year mark in Wisconsin, but my wife decided to do additional training, so we are in Wisconsin for at least another three years. We still plan to return to Washington, which means we are almost in the exact same spot as when we moved.
It cost a few thousand dollars to update everything, but it was money well spent.
After we updated it, I felt a huge relief. Updating my estate plan had been on my mind regularly since living in Wisconsin. I even asked a few financial planner friends what they thought about not updating it.
I experienced what many people tell me after they update their estate plan. They usually don’t love going through the process, but felt more secure and happy that they knew their wishes were outlined and a plan was in place.
Why It’s Important to Update Your Estate Plan
It’s important to update your estate plan because every person has a default estate plan by their state, but it’s unlikely to be how you want things to go, easy, or timely to settle things.
Let’s go through each document and what it can do for you.
Will or Trust
A Will or Trust says what happens to your assets when you die.
For many people, a Will is more than sufficient, but for those in states where probate is very expensive, own assets in multiple states, or want more privacy, a trust can be used in coordination with a pourover Will.
Trust-centered plans tend to cost more than a Will-centered plan upfront, but it can cost less overall in certain circumstances. You should speak with an attorney about whether a Will or a Trust-centered plan makes more sense for you.
When you die, your executor who is named in your Will has to go through the court process to carry out the wishes in your Will. This could mean going through the probate process, opening an estate account, paying your debts, filing tax returns, and making the distributions you outlined in your Will.
If you have a trust, the trustee in your Trust document will take over as trustee and follow the provisions in your trust.
If you don’t name an executor or successor trustee, you are leaving it up to your state to decide how to handle your affairs after death. It can be a pain and expensive to get named as an executor.
DPOA for Finances
The DPOA for Finances is a critical document because it allows an agent you name to handle your finances while alive. This can be important due to health conditions, cognitive impairment, or if you are out of the country and unable to do something in person.
We like to think of ourselves as always being able to manage our financial affairs, but I’ve seen first hand — at almost any age — where something happens and someone is unable to manage their finances.
If you don’t have a DPOA for Finances, the options are limited for those who care about you and they come with burdensome administrative requirements. A common option is to petition the court to seek financial guardianship.
If successful, they may be able to handle your financial affairs, but it will likely require at least thousands of dollars in legal fees to start the process and if awarded, you may need to track every dollar spent on behalf of the person and report to the court on at least an annual basis since they have oversight of you and how you are managing the finances.
Depending on your relationship and financial knowledge, they may not want to award financial guardianship and require a professional firm to serve in that role instead.
If you are going to get a DPOA for Finances, understand the differences between a springing durable power of attorney and one that is effective immediately. Springing durable power of attorneys have many disadvantages.
A DPOA for Finances is going to give someone you name the powers listed in the document, which commonly include the power to:
- Open new financial accounts
- Close accounts
- Pay bills
- Sell property
- Buy and sell investments
- Withdraw funds
- Prepare and sign tax returns
Less common powers, but ones that you may want to consider include:
- Gifting money
- Changing beneficiaries
- Manage digital assets
Not having a DPOA for Finances is a big risk. Nobody thinks they will need someone to manage their finances until suddenly there is a need. When there is a need, it may be too late and financial guardianship may be the only option.
DPOA for Healthcare
The DPOA for Healthcare is an important document when you are unable to make your own healthcare decisions anymore. It allows you to name someone to act on your behalf.
As with any other legal documents, it’s important to read the document and determine what powers you want to give your agent. States often have free forms that you can use, but it’s important to understand what powers you are and are not granting them. You can also check with your local department of health services as they may have free forms too.
For example, do you want to allow them to admit you to an inpatient institution for mental health issues? Do you want them to be able to admit you to a nursing home? What about making decisions about feeding tubes? If you are pregnant, do you want them to be able to make decisions for you?
Many people go over this form quickly and sign it thinking they are protected. Spend an extra 30 minutes going through the document, asking questions, and potentially going through the form with your doctor to understand how it could be used under different medical scenarios.
Advanced Directives
Advanced Directives include documents like a Living Will that tells healthcare professionals what treatments you want if you are unable to tell them. They can also include do not resuscitate (DNR) orders and Physicians Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment (POLST).
As the Mayo Clinic points out, “Advanced directives aren’t just for older adults. Unexpected end-of-life situations can happen at any age…” If you are a grandparent reading this, make sure your kids and grandchildren have these documents.
You can think of the DPOA for Healthcare as the keys to the car and the Advanced Directives as the map. The DPOA for Healthcare gives your agent the power to make decisions while the Advanced Directives outline what you want done.
A Living Will may cover what you want done in terms of:
- CPR
- Tube feeding
- Dialysis
- Antibiotics
- Palliative care
- Organ and tissue donations
It’s important to update your estate planning documents, including your Advanced Directives so that your wishes can be honored.
How Often Should You Update Your Estate Plan?
Many attorneys recommend updating your estate plan every 5 to 10 years, when you move states, when major legislation passes, such as tax bills, or when a major life change happens, such as the birth of a child, divorce, marriage, diagnosis of a major health issue, or you become a widow or widower.
It doesn’t hurt to read through your estate plan every few years to make sure that everything is still accurate. For example, are your executors still alive and capable of serving in that role? If someone is born, is your Will set up in a way that would give them assets and names a custodian or a trust for their benefit? If you sold an asset, does that affect the distribution of other assets or the original amounts you intended people to get?
In my case, I got married and should have updated my estate plan sooner, but I didn’t. We’ll likely need to do it again in a few years if we move.
Final Thoughts – My Question for You
I’m not happy that I took two years to update my estate plan.
It wouldn’t have been an ideal situation since my wife wasn’t named to receive all of my assets. I also don’t know how Wisconsin law would have affected things since the documents were originally written in Washington state.
Don’t be like me. When a major life change happens, go see an attorney to determine what needs updating. Otherwise, the uncertainty may weigh on you like it did me.
I felt a sigh of relief when I updated my estate planning documents knowing everything was set up to go as smoothly as possible.
I’ll leave you with one question to act on.
When are you going to review your estate plan?
